I've taken a ridiculously long hiatus from blogging. For many different reasons, one being that I forgot my password. A LOT has happened since 2011!! Like a BABY!! Haha!!
I don't usually sleep well so I often lay in bed thinking about anything and everything. Actually, I do this during the day too. Last night I started wondering about whether Satan has access to our dreams. Then I started thinking about the lies that Satan feeds us. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!!
A few weeks ago I distinctly remember kneeling facedown in my bedroom, sobbing. Begging God to make my heart to stop hurting. My friend, who had been praying for me faithfully ended up calling me in that moment. I pulled myself together and pretended that everything was fine. I was NOT "fine". Maybe if I pretended I was then I would actually believe I was? After getting off the phone with her and breaking down even more. I decided I would call her back and pour my heart out to her. I did and I remember her saying to me "Morgan, these are lies from Satan. You are believing lies". Thank God for friends who speak truth!
I struggle against believing lies constantly. My mind is a rarely-inactive battleground. Mostly the lies I believe center around the word "enough." I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. Creative enough. Strong enough. Talented enough. I don't have enough to offer. Also, things like: They'd be better off without me. I'll never overcome this. I'm not needed... And many more.
Sometimes it's so much easier to just believe lies rather than to believe truth. For whatever reason. Maybe because we have a hard time distinguishing between what we feel and what truth is. Or maybe because sometimes the circumstances seem truer than what the truth really is. Or maybe it's just easier to have a pity-party and go outside and eat some worms than to be challenged and grow in spite (or because) of it. I don't know. I know what the bible says, and I suppose believing that it doesn't apply to me is doubting His promises for my life.
Psalm 37:3 (NCV) uses the phrase "feed on truth." I like to imagine God's truth as our sustenance; the fuel that makes us go, gives us energy, faith and hope, feeds our brains, strengthens our hearts and our bodies.
But you know what? I don't think Satan is ever going to stop feeding us lies. He's never going to get tired and say, "Well, I've told her enough falsehoods for the month of May, so I think I'll give her a little break."
In Psalm 23, God prepares a feast for us in the presence of our enemies. Satan may never stop telling us lies, but God will also never stop speaking and being Truth. It's up to us to choose which we feed on.
What lies are you believing? And how can you choose to feed on truth?